Business Advice from a Toddler Lesson #4

We had a parent/teacher conference the other day. The teacher told us that my son, Eliot, who had been in this new class for less than a month, was "the leader of the class."  To that my husband and I glanced at one another thinking exactly the same thing...that this meant my son's bossy side continues to emerge.  The teacher caught our exchange and made the following comments:

"Everyone wants to do what Eliot is doing.  If he is not there they ask about him.  He includes everyone and can play with the boys just as well as he can play with the girls (no one was excluded).  He loves to share.  He is a very happy boy."

I thought about what she said and began observing him in a different way.  I noticed he enjoyed showing others how to do the things that he was doing (even my husband and me) but was not overbearing.  He celebrated every success and shared in every failure.  Then in occurred to me...

My son is the leader I want to be.

The New Guilt Based Diet

Only eat those things that you want your children to consume.  Shouldn't be hard, right?

Healthy Break(fast) for the Mind

I'm sure you've heard someone tell you about the importance of starting your day with a good breakfast.  It's vital to giving your body the kick start that it needs.  Well, I'd like to suggest that your mind requires a daily kick start as well.

Too often little things occur in our mornings that set the tone for the day and they all seem to happen TO us...

• Kids refuse to get dressed - bad day
• Significant other leaves you a loving note - good day
• You spill coffee on your shirt 5 minutes before you have to leave - bad day
• You hit every green light on the way to work - good day

Letting the world happen to us can be a depressing thing.   Take control of the day when it starts with a little mental breakfast.  Set aside time to immerse yourself in the motivational.  Whether this is a book with your first cup of coffee or a podcast on your ride to work (my personal preference).  The time you set aside will awaken your mind and prepare you for the day ahead.

I'd suggest starting with one of the following podcasts (I despise wasted driving time):

Entreleadership

TED Radio Hour

Believe me, it will be worth it.

mmmmmm...coffee

Coffee is a morning hug from a loving friend or a great massage after a long, hard day.  That aside, I've been doing everything I can to cut down.  Now I'm thinking I should wait for the research.  :)

Coffee Linked to Lower Risk of Death

Slaying Dragons

My husband said something the other day that was pretty insightful...

"It's amazing the dragons you can slay with the right person whispering in your ear."

I've been consumed with this thought and the conclusion that I've come to is that true leaders do the whispering.

Business Advice from a Toddler - Lesson #3

Turn fear into enthusiasm.

Imagine a parent sneaking up on their child from a distance (goal: to administer a round of tickles) .  About halfway to their goal they announce their intent with a wide-eyed yowl and a rapid gate.  Many children scream, cover their body, fall back and brace themselves, or maybe run away...oh, but not my son.  In a matter of milliseconds he stands straight up, opens his arms, widens his eyes, screams at the top of his lungs (in the toddler intimidation sort of way), and runs full speed ahead TOWARD his attacker.  What does the parent do? First, protect any "goods" now vulnerable to toddler onslaught.  Second, brace themselves for the fast furry of a 35 lb toddler.  Third, scoop the child up.

What happened in the scenario above?  My son TOOK power.  Without knowing any different he saw change coming and met it head on with excitement and as a result the game was transformed.

Fear and excitement are first cousins.  Think about it, are there fearful things that you find thrilling?  Roller coasters, scary films, fast driving, attempting to find lemonheads in Kirtland at night (that one is for all my NE Ohio peeps)...all of these things invoke intense fear and/or excitement.  What is the difference between these two feelings?  With excitement we make a choice to acknowledge the fear and then embrace it.

We all have the power to choose.

The Importance of Scent

There are many studies about our sense of smell and how a scent is linked with memory.  I'm not going to be scientific.  What I want to share is that I've underestimated how important scent can be in our lives.  (This is why we are hearing more and more about "scented" grocery markets.)

Recently a perfume I've been wearing for at least 10 years was discontinued.  I'm on my last bottle and realized that this is a very emotional change for my family.  This is the scent that prompted my young niece to describe me as someone who "smells good"...the scent I left on my pillow for my husband when I left for work early....the scent that my son identifies as "mommy." 

I don't know how often people notice the scents that move in and out of their lives, but I know that I wish they were as simple to retain as pictures.  Could you imagine saying to your grandchildren, "This is the way my grandmother smelled."  (and I'm not thinking mothballs and denture cream)

How Smart Are You Today?

Every day you make decisions.  These decisions impact your life into the future.  They are made based on how smart you are TODAY.  You may look back and feel foolish about a choice you've made, but you will be looking back with more intelligence.

When making a decision accept that you are as smart as you will be at that moment.  Understand that you will be smarter later and you may change your mind or change course (and that's okay) but DO NOT remain stagnant because you feel you need to be smarter.  Guess what....you'll never be as smart as you want to be.

Trash vs. Treasure

We're all familiar with the saying, "One man's trash is another man's treasure."  It is easy for any of us to apply this to objects, but apply it to people and things get a little uncomfortable. Okay, so the words are harsh but the idea is correct.

A person may seem difficult to you, but to another they are a genius. You may work for someone that does not understand your value, but change jobs and suddenly you bring nothing but value.

These examples are situational.  Often your success is directly correlated with the people that surround you.  Finding something you love to do is not enough.  Doing the thing you love with people that compliment your talents and see your value is the holy grail.

Be responsible for your destiny (in other words, pointing fingers doesn't get you anywhere) but if things just aren't feeling "right" there could be more to the situation than what you bring to the table.

Control vs. Influence

I encountered an online article (from some years back) written by Debbie Jenkins (nope - I don't actually know who that is) that contained the following.  It hit home and I wanted to share.

That which is beyond your immediate and complete manipulation is not, whether we like it or not, within our control. So what is within our control?

• Our Emotions and Motivation (although not all of us accept this)
• Our Response To Outside Influences (although not all of us accept this either)
• The Direction We Take In Life
• Every Action We Take
• The Way We Communicate
• What We Say and Do and Promise
• What We Choose To Believe or Ignore
• Inanimate Objects & Tools We Use

Everything else that is outside of us (especially other animals/humans) we can only influence. Here are some examples of things you can only influence...

• Whether Someone Likes You
• Whether People Will Buy
• What Other People Find Important
• Whether People Believe You
• Convincing Someone of Something
• Getting Someone to Do Something (even if you're a hypnotist)

Sure, you can exert enough influence that it seems like control. If someone held a gun to your head, they could probably influence you to do a lot of things. But despite that, they couldn't get you to think different things or feel differently about something because they still only have influence.

Finally, there are some things we have no direct control or influence over... such as the weather, space, time, where we start out in life, but there's no benefit dwelling on the things we cannot do - because it's more empowering to focus on what we can do.

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The article was about the concept of under-promise and over-deliver, something that I referred to in my last post.  Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/59584

The Right Way to Set Expectations

You have likely been on both the asking and answering end of this question:

"How long will it take?"

If you are the one answering this question, more often than not the answer is more complicated than "2 days."  In those cases be very aware of how you frame your answer.  Most people will listen to what you tell them and only
pull out the portions that they need.  For instance, you may be thinking to answer in one of the following ways:

1) "If everything is set up it could take as little as one week."
2) "One month, but if everything is set up it may require less time."

Yes, there are variations of these statements, but the point is this....the people listening for the answer to "How long will it take?" are going to hear:

1) "blah blah blah blah one week."
2) "One month, blah blah blah blah."

If those are the ONLY data points they walk away with, what do you want them to think?  That they can do it in a week or a month?  If you subscribe to the idea of under-promise and over-deliver, I think you know the answer.  Though when the timelines are too far apart you risk not being asked to do the work at all, so be realistic.

Stupidity

Everyone is stupid sometimes.  (I'll hold to the belief that no one is stupid all the time.)

Haven't you ever done something and once you were finished asked yourself, "What the hell was I thinking???"   Everyone deserves an occasional break, so give them one.  Learn from their stupidity (and help them to learn if you can) and hope that you're not next.

The Salon Experience

I got my hair done at a new salon recently and started to pay a lot of attention to the customer experience.  A good salon (of which this is one) is 100% focused on making the customer feel good.  Everyone is conditioned to tell you how fabulous or refreshed you look....regardless of their own, individual opinion.  When a gorgeous person tells you that you're gorgeous, well, it can't be bad, right?

This methodology works for that specific industry, but I see others applying it.  Sure you want your customer to feel great, but their experience lasts long after they've left your vision.  Pushing to get a sale for an item the customer may not like later will impact long term success.

Luckily, I still like my hairstyle.

Leveraging Bestsellers?

So I'm reading an inspiring management book and thinking of all the ways I can apply my new found knowledge when it dawns on me...this is a bestseller.  What does that mean?  Millions of people, just like me bought this book in order to leverage its knowledge (we'll just assume they didn't buy it just to put it on a shelf and say they read it).

Wait a minute.  Millions of people are applying this information?  Or, at least, attempting to?  How can someone stand out if the foundation they are building upon has the same stones as many other individuals?

So I don't have an answer to this one.  You could speculate that its a formula...one part written knowledge....two parts understanding....and a whole lot of drive and raw abilities.  I'll just continue reading.

Business Advice from a Toddler - Lesson #2

Tailor your message to your audience.

Make sure that what you want is clear and use a language that they understand.  Never make assumptions that the lens your audience uses filters information in the same manner as your lens....and demonstrate if necessary.

How did a toddler teach us this?  Upon telling my son to "hug the Pillsbury doughboy" he took this action:

What did we do wrong?  We assumed he understood what we meant by the word "hug" and we did not demonstrate the action.

Lesson learned.  Merb.

Openminded vs. Indecisive

It may appear as though these two things are very different, but in actuality one can be mistaken for the other.  Hearing people out and having perspective always go far, but many people often get caught up in the options.  They can see how any of the perspectives is correct in their own way and thus find it difficult to have an opinion.  Taking sides is not necessary, but having a perspective that is your own is important.

The Truth About Lies

A lie, regardless of size, has the ability to make the truth look like lies as well.  It's like putting a red sock in a white load of laundry.  It may only be one red sock, but that one mistake could turn everything pink.

So the next time you consider lying, whether it be personally or professionally, is it worth possibly having to throw away all your whites and start over?

Taking Pride in Your Work

Do people do this anymore or are they just working to work?

God Helps Those Who Help Themselves

This is not a religious post.


This simple statement is something my mother said to me frequently when I was growing up.  She wasn't implying I should take a "five finger discount" but more that if you want something you need to take the initiative to get it.  No one is going to do it for you.  It never occurred to me how much this one statement is buried within my core and has influenced my life.


It's as true now as it was then.  Remember it.

Open Up to Open Doors

If you're like me the idea of putting your ideas on the internet where they may live forever is quite frightening.  Guess what.....it's the new reality.  The next generation (and then some) are sharing their entire lives with the masses.  They are friending people they've never met, reading books without turning a page, and making purchases without ever even looking at a dollar bill.

If you want to keep up and remain viable peel back the layers of the onion and make yourself known.