Open Up to Open Doors

If you're like me the idea of putting your ideas on the internet where they may live forever is quite frightening.  Guess what.....it's the new reality.  The next generation (and then some) are sharing their entire lives with the masses.  They are friending people they've never met, reading books without turning a page, and making purchases without ever even looking at a dollar bill.

If you want to keep up and remain viable peel back the layers of the onion and make yourself known.

How to Handle the Fly on the Wall

Listening with your full attention is a very important thing to do in order to build relationships and remain credible.  That said, we can't always execute in that way.  Our mind gets in the way.  Other thoughts creep in...

"What is the person in front of me about to say?"
"Did I lock my car door?"
"Is my boss going to rip me a new one when we meet this afternoon?"
"I've got to finish this presentation."

These are our flies.  Killing them is very challenging (and potentially time consuming...have you ever chased a fly?).  But when they exist on the walls of our mind you must let them out before you can focus.

How do we let the flies out?  Address them when you can.  Either interrupt the person talking to you (assuming it's a casual conversation or relationship) and state, "I'm sorry, I'm a little distracted because I've got a big meeting I need to prepare for." Then suggest that you either talk later because you want to give them your full attention or decide to make it short.  If this is not an option you must practice "fly ignoring" - just plain resolve to listen (this IS in your control) and either decide on a time to address the fly or decide that you must cohabitate.

Now, you don't want colonies of flies.  If they begin to take over start scheduling time with yourself to address these things.  It does not matter how busy you are.  Your sanity and your relationships depend on it.

Who Are You?

I suffer from constant anxiety. (Oh my gosh, Michelle. That's so horrible.  How do you live?)  Yeah, yeah. But I've developed my own way of dealing with it.  And it works well...for me.

Someone once said, "Anxiety is suffering failure before it occurs." It sounds simple, but it changed my life.  It has become my mantra.  (Actually, this is a modification of Seth Godin's perspective on anxiety http://bit.ly/dpMOIR)

Here is my three step process to regaining sanity:

1) Remind yourself of what anxiety truly is (see above)
2) Identify what you are concerned about failing
3) Remind yourself of who you are

The third step is interesting.  If you're feeling down - which no one ever does, I'm sure - it could be tricky.   So I refer specifically to StrengthsFinder (http://bit.ly/h3es6x).  This book has done a great job of making clear to me where I excel.  It helps me to be logical about how circumstances may cause me anxiety, but also that I'm valuable.  I will also do a little reading about my Myers-Briggs type (http://bit.ly/uiArt).

Yes - I'm obsessed with personality / personal development tests.  I'll post more specific information on my strengths and MBTI on the About Me page.

BTW - now that I've typed this thought up I'm feeling a bit dorky.  Merb.