The Importance of Scent

There are many studies about our sense of smell and how a scent is linked with memory.  I'm not going to be scientific.  What I want to share is that I've underestimated how important scent can be in our lives.  (This is why we are hearing more and more about "scented" grocery markets.)

Recently a perfume I've been wearing for at least 10 years was discontinued.  I'm on my last bottle and realized that this is a very emotional change for my family.  This is the scent that prompted my young niece to describe me as someone who "smells good"...the scent I left on my pillow for my husband when I left for work early....the scent that my son identifies as "mommy." 

I don't know how often people notice the scents that move in and out of their lives, but I know that I wish they were as simple to retain as pictures.  Could you imagine saying to your grandchildren, "This is the way my grandmother smelled."  (and I'm not thinking mothballs and denture cream)

Trash vs. Treasure

We're all familiar with the saying, "One man's trash is another man's treasure."  It is easy for any of us to apply this to objects, but apply it to people and things get a little uncomfortable. Okay, so the words are harsh but the idea is correct.

A person may seem difficult to you, but to another they are a genius. You may work for someone that does not understand your value, but change jobs and suddenly you bring nothing but value.

These examples are situational.  Often your success is directly correlated with the people that surround you.  Finding something you love to do is not enough.  Doing the thing you love with people that compliment your talents and see your value is the holy grail.

Be responsible for your destiny (in other words, pointing fingers doesn't get you anywhere) but if things just aren't feeling "right" there could be more to the situation than what you bring to the table.

Control vs. Influence

I encountered an online article (from some years back) written by Debbie Jenkins (nope - I don't actually know who that is) that contained the following.  It hit home and I wanted to share.

That which is beyond your immediate and complete manipulation is not, whether we like it or not, within our control. So what is within our control?

• Our Emotions and Motivation (although not all of us accept this)
• Our Response To Outside Influences (although not all of us accept this either)
• The Direction We Take In Life
• Every Action We Take
• The Way We Communicate
• What We Say and Do and Promise
• What We Choose To Believe or Ignore
• Inanimate Objects & Tools We Use

Everything else that is outside of us (especially other animals/humans) we can only influence. Here are some examples of things you can only influence...

• Whether Someone Likes You
• Whether People Will Buy
• What Other People Find Important
• Whether People Believe You
• Convincing Someone of Something
• Getting Someone to Do Something (even if you're a hypnotist)

Sure, you can exert enough influence that it seems like control. If someone held a gun to your head, they could probably influence you to do a lot of things. But despite that, they couldn't get you to think different things or feel differently about something because they still only have influence.

Finally, there are some things we have no direct control or influence over... such as the weather, space, time, where we start out in life, but there's no benefit dwelling on the things we cannot do - because it's more empowering to focus on what we can do.

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The article was about the concept of under-promise and over-deliver, something that I referred to in my last post.  Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/59584

The Right Way to Set Expectations

You have likely been on both the asking and answering end of this question:

"How long will it take?"

If you are the one answering this question, more often than not the answer is more complicated than "2 days."  In those cases be very aware of how you frame your answer.  Most people will listen to what you tell them and only
pull out the portions that they need.  For instance, you may be thinking to answer in one of the following ways:

1) "If everything is set up it could take as little as one week."
2) "One month, but if everything is set up it may require less time."

Yes, there are variations of these statements, but the point is this....the people listening for the answer to "How long will it take?" are going to hear:

1) "blah blah blah blah one week."
2) "One month, blah blah blah blah."

If those are the ONLY data points they walk away with, what do you want them to think?  That they can do it in a week or a month?  If you subscribe to the idea of under-promise and over-deliver, I think you know the answer.  Though when the timelines are too far apart you risk not being asked to do the work at all, so be realistic.

Stupidity

Everyone is stupid sometimes.  (I'll hold to the belief that no one is stupid all the time.)

Haven't you ever done something and once you were finished asked yourself, "What the hell was I thinking???"   Everyone deserves an occasional break, so give them one.  Learn from their stupidity (and help them to learn if you can) and hope that you're not next.

The Truth About Lies

A lie, regardless of size, has the ability to make the truth look like lies as well.  It's like putting a red sock in a white load of laundry.  It may only be one red sock, but that one mistake could turn everything pink.

So the next time you consider lying, whether it be personally or professionally, is it worth possibly having to throw away all your whites and start over?

Open Up to Open Doors

If you're like me the idea of putting your ideas on the internet where they may live forever is quite frightening.  Guess what.....it's the new reality.  The next generation (and then some) are sharing their entire lives with the masses.  They are friending people they've never met, reading books without turning a page, and making purchases without ever even looking at a dollar bill.

If you want to keep up and remain viable peel back the layers of the onion and make yourself known.

Be Aware of Those Who Take

Often I forget that there are people in this world that truly cannot see what it means to be anyone but themselves.  They forget that each individual has their own priorities and motivations, their own schedules and obligations, their own challenges and joys.

As you go through life and interact with these people please remember the following:

1) Don't keep score.  This isn't a game and there are no prizes at the finish line.
2) Give in a manner that makes you feel good.  Eliminate any thoughts of "they didn't do this so I won't do that."
3) Be honest - sometimes saying something is not a catalyst for change, but it can clear the air.
4) When all else fails, focus on what is important to you and remind yourself of your blessings.

Business Advice From a Toddler - Lesson #1

Everything is up for negotiation.

If you want something and get it, ask for more.  If you want something and you are told no, ask for something different.  You can't get anything you don't ask for and there is always more to be had.  Only refrain from asking if you risk losing something you want more than the thing that you are asking for.

How Do You Know You're Serving Your Customer?

One of two very simple ways:

1) Your message/vision resonates with them (it comes from your mind and out of their mouths)
2) Their message/vision resonates with you (it comes from their minds and out of your mouth)

I want to tattoo this on some people.  If you and your customer have different visions you are NOT serving them.

How to Handle the Fly on the Wall

Listening with your full attention is a very important thing to do in order to build relationships and remain credible.  That said, we can't always execute in that way.  Our mind gets in the way.  Other thoughts creep in...

"What is the person in front of me about to say?"
"Did I lock my car door?"
"Is my boss going to rip me a new one when we meet this afternoon?"
"I've got to finish this presentation."

These are our flies.  Killing them is very challenging (and potentially time consuming...have you ever chased a fly?).  But when they exist on the walls of our mind you must let them out before you can focus.

How do we let the flies out?  Address them when you can.  Either interrupt the person talking to you (assuming it's a casual conversation or relationship) and state, "I'm sorry, I'm a little distracted because I've got a big meeting I need to prepare for." Then suggest that you either talk later because you want to give them your full attention or decide to make it short.  If this is not an option you must practice "fly ignoring" - just plain resolve to listen (this IS in your control) and either decide on a time to address the fly or decide that you must cohabitate.

Now, you don't want colonies of flies.  If they begin to take over start scheduling time with yourself to address these things.  It does not matter how busy you are.  Your sanity and your relationships depend on it.