Listening with your full attention is a very important thing to do in order to build relationships and remain credible. That said, we can't always execute in that way. Our mind gets in the way. Other thoughts creep in...
"What is the person in front of me about to say?"
"Did I lock my car door?"
"Is my boss going to rip me a new one when we meet this afternoon?"
"I've got to finish this presentation."
These are our flies. Killing them is very challenging (and potentially time consuming...have you ever chased a fly?). But when they exist on the walls of our mind you must let them out before you can focus.
How do we let the flies out? Address them when you can. Either interrupt the person talking to you (assuming it's a casual conversation or relationship) and state, "I'm sorry, I'm a little distracted because I've got a big meeting I need to prepare for." Then suggest that you either talk later because you want to give them your full attention or decide to make it short. If this is not an option you must practice "fly ignoring" - just plain resolve to listen (this IS in your control) and either decide on a time to address the fly or decide that you must cohabitate.
Now, you don't want colonies of flies. If they begin to take over start scheduling time with yourself to address these things. It does not matter how busy you are. Your sanity and your relationships depend on it.
"What is the person in front of me about to say?"
"Did I lock my car door?"
"Is my boss going to rip me a new one when we meet this afternoon?"
"I've got to finish this presentation."
These are our flies. Killing them is very challenging (and potentially time consuming...have you ever chased a fly?). But when they exist on the walls of our mind you must let them out before you can focus.
How do we let the flies out? Address them when you can. Either interrupt the person talking to you (assuming it's a casual conversation or relationship) and state, "I'm sorry, I'm a little distracted because I've got a big meeting I need to prepare for." Then suggest that you either talk later because you want to give them your full attention or decide to make it short. If this is not an option you must practice "fly ignoring" - just plain resolve to listen (this IS in your control) and either decide on a time to address the fly or decide that you must cohabitate.
Now, you don't want colonies of flies. If they begin to take over start scheduling time with yourself to address these things. It does not matter how busy you are. Your sanity and your relationships depend on it.
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